Music Appreciation 101

I love music.  I always have.  I feel blessed to have been raised with parents who valued good music.  I realize there are various styles of music with numerous opinions on what makes good music.  I subscribe to the following definition (of what makes good music and other forms of media).  It is taken from the pamphlet "For the Strength of Youth" published by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  It was a guide to me while I was in my youth and it continues to be a good source of direction.

Choose wisely when using media because whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Select only media that uplifts you.

Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting. Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit.

Take care that your use of media does not dull your sensitivity to the Spirit or interfere with your personal relationships with others.

I know that this is true.  I also know that others jeer at this and that my peers might think my taste in music/media is too strict; but I have felt a greater spiritual strength in my life when I am very careful about following this council.  Being sensitive to the Spirit of God, I believe, is one of the greatest blessings we can have.  By doing so, we are led, guided, and uplifted to greater spiritual planes.

Having said all this, what is the significance of "Music Appreciation 101"?  My father initiated a Christmas tradition 21 years ago.  Every Christmas Eve we listen to selected choruses of Handel's Messiah, sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  We eliminate all sources of distraction (as much as possible) and sit quietly, listening to the beautiful melodies, and ponder the words of the music.

 

I may be all alone in this tradition, depending on my circumstances, but I've done this every year since 1990.  I have had some very emotional and spiritual personal experiences in this tradition.  I encourage anyone reading this to consider starting this tradition as well. 

Oh, and it is nice to follow the musical feast with a banana split.

Look to the Light

A great message as we begin this Christmas Season!  I am so glad He lives!

A Season of Blessings, Even Miracles (Part 3)

Detroit and Home Again

Once we received the phone call that Levi was born, we were on our way.  We arrived at the agency in Detroit Saturday afternoon to sign all the paperwork.  I am glad that they were willing to visit with us on the weekend.  Levi had been released already from the hospital and spent the night with a foster parent. The boys were instantly drawn towards Levi and wanted to have their turns holing him.  We were thrilled to be able to take him "home" to our hotel room that afternoon.

 

Due to the HIV possibility, we had to give him his medicine on a very strict timeline.  Needless to say, we had a hard time getting good sleep--with 6 of us in a small hotel room.  We were required to stay in the hotel room for about two weeks.  This was a bit different from what we were told with the other children...but then again there was always something new we experienced with each adoption...so that was OK.  The hotel had some advantages.  Derek and Nathan love swimming so the hotel pool was a great thing for them.  This particular hotel was nice too, because we had stayed there for the previous three adoptions and we knew our way around that part of the city fairly well.  It was also close to the agency office.  This was good since we seemed to stop by several times.  This hotel also had another benefit--they not only provided continental breakfast but also three dinners a week.  This was great so we could save a little more money.

A huge blessing came that first day when the agency director told us that because of the chance that Levi might have HIV, he decided that they were going to reduce our adoption fee--another money saver and blessing.  We were not expecting this, but it was greatly needed because unlike the other adoptions we had not been required to spend much on pass-through fees.  This would be a different story, however.  What money we saved on the adoption fees was spent on pass-through fees.

A small hotel room can get old in a hurry with 3 little boys jumping off beds and bouncing off walls, so we frequented the parks in the area.  The boys, as is in their nature, made friends quickly and easily.  The beautiful weather also was a blessing.  We met with the birth mother on three different occasions.  We had met her every other adoption, but usually for a short time (i.e. 30 min).  This visit was very different.  She wanted to stay with the boys for as long as she could.  I would say all three visits put together she was with us for a total of 5 hours.  This was a great experience for me personally as I got to know her a lot better.  She has led a life of sadness, but she never even had a chance from the childhood she described to us.  My heart was really opened up to her and I felt a greater appreciation for her and for her welfare.  The boys seemed to be open to her (again), which I know she appreciated.  She indicated to the agency that we were her only family and that she loved us.  She gave us hugs and even kissed us on the cheeks at our last meeting.  Another blessing--the birth mother decided to have the surgery so that Levi should be her last child.  This she had scheduled to do the last two times but never showed up.  This time she stayed.  Not only that, but she decided it was time to change her lifestyle.  She checked herself into a rehabilitation center, which is supposed to be a year long.

                                  

As we sat there in the hotel trying to think of things to keep us busy, we realized we were close to Lake Huron.  We decided to take a day trip to the Lake.  It was a beautiful day.  When we arrived, we discovered that the beach was very sandy, and to my delight there was a constant washing of waves up on the beach.  We went to the dollar store and bought some clothes we could go swimming in and headed back on the beach.  It was perfect.  The water was great and the boys loved making sandcastles.  It was perfect for another reason--Derek had been begging all summer long to be able to go to the beach, but we had told him we couldn't because we didnt' have enough money.  But here we were on this trip with nothing to do---except now we could make his dreams a reality.  Derek didn't know it wasn't an ocean beach--only that it was a beach, with sand for sandcastles, with waves breaking on the beach, and even with seashells.  It was a perfect day!

We decided we should go to the Detroit Zoo as well---it was really small in that hotel room.  The boys love zoos so this was a successful outing as well.  The animals were nice, but there were some beautiful gardens, which Lisa and I really enjoyed.  This was our first updated family photo, with kangaroos and all, even though you can't really see Levi in the car seat.

Finally the day came when we received word that all the paperwork was clear so we could head home.  It was close to 6 weeks away from home already, but we had a few more stops before we could go home.  We first stopped by my Brother's house in Wisconsin for a couple days.  We then stopped in Iowa to see all our wonderful friends there and to thank them for their kindness to us.  Again we stopped in Omaha (we stopped there on our way out to Detroit) to visit with friends.  Our next stop was Kansas (again) so we could let Grandma and Grandpa see the baby and so that I could install another drinker for the cows.  Finally it was back home to Utah. 

It was 7 weeks in all, give or take a day.  A long, tiring trip, but it was full of adventure, friends, family time, love, and dreams coming true.  As I have taken the opportunity to jot these events down, I have felt a greater appreciation for all who have helped us, and my feelings have been tender at times.  I am convinced that the Lord had his hand in our lives and the events that got us here.  There are other details I am leaving out because they are too personal to be mentioned here, but I am so grateful for this experience. 

Follow Up Blessings

Levi has had three HIV tests to date and they have all come back negative.  The doctors are 99% sure he is HIV free.  We receive news that the birth mother is still in the rehabilitation center and enjoying it.

A Season of Blessings, Even Miracles (Part 2)

Kansas

After our successful garage sale, we packed up and headed to Kansas.  It was my job to "run the farm" while my father-in-law was fishing in Alaska.  I learned some basics in diesel truck maintenance, and how to operate a backhoe and loader.  I was in charge of feeding and caring for 500 cattle.  One miracle--none died. : )

I enjoyed the work and the boys loved being outside. 

Because the baby could have been born any day due to her previous early deliveries, we decided that we would stay in Kansas until we received the phone call from Detroit notifying us that the baby was born.  We ended up staying there exactly 4 weeks.  Granted, we were getting a little anxious about the delivery towards the end, especially since we were told that the birth mother had disappeared (again) and they had no contact with her.  In spite of this, I generally felt pretty confident that things would work out, because of the huge success in raising money so far, and I felt that that wouldn't have happened if we weren't going to be blessed with the baby.

Anyway, we were blessed to make, and save a little money during those 4 weeks in Kansas, and we were able to spend some quality time with Lisa's family. We had a good time spending most of our days together on the farm.

Her grandma and grandpa had been placed in a nursing home and we were able to visit them several times.  The boys had the opportunity to go swimming in the local pool with grandma, which they loved.  I learned some new skills, even though I broke a water line digging with the backhoe for the second time--but it was a quick and easy fix, thank goodness.  I installed a new water trough for the cows and helped my father-in-law get ready to receive 1500 more cattle later that month.

I mentioned in Part 1 that our friends in Iowa had a successful garage sale as well.  That garage sale didn't actually happen until we were out in Kansas, but regardless of that fact, another blessing came to the life of the one spear-heading it.  She was such a blessing to us and our little family, but she mentioned to me several times that is was her privilege--and actually something that she needed at that time.  This friend of ours had just been diagnosed with skin cancer shortly before.  In spite of this fact she was undergoing surgery over the very weekend of the garage sale.  She sacrificed her time and energy at this time for us.   However, she insists that doing so was a blessing to her.  It kept her mind off of the things she was going through.  Her surgery was a success by the way.

As a side note, while we were in Kansas, we continued to receive financial donations by friends and family.  By the time we left Kansas and headed to Detroit, we had enough money to pay for the adoption, and as far as we could tell, for the travel expenses too.  Everything had fallen into place perfectly.  Financial assistance or donations for garage sales had literally come from all across the country.  Friends and family from the Atlantic to the Pacific Oceans had felt a need to assist us in our quest.

When the call finally came, Lisa packed our bags in 2-3 hours while I finished fixing another water line break (not my fault this time), and we were on our way.

How blessed we were (and still are).  Part Three will be coming soon and will go over our travel and stay in Detriot and back home.

Impressions of General Conference (Part 2)

This is the second set of notes of my impressions on General Conference, a semi-annual meeting of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, where modern day prophets and apostles speak to us.

1. Always retain in rememberance the Greatness of God and your own nothingness.  HOWEVER, to God, WE are his greatest work and glory...not the stars in the heavens or the creatures that crawl the earth or swim the seas.
2. Compared to God, we are nothing, but we are EVERYTHING to God.
3. There is no arbitrary age for an individual to start caring about, and doing, geneology work.
4. Always make time to visit the sick, widows, and homeless, just as President Monson does.
5. In family relationships love is spelled T.I.M.E.
6. Identify the time-wasting distractions and grind them to dust.
7. It is always better to look up in faith than to cast our eyes downward in self-pity.
8. Repentance is a divine gift and there should be a smile on our face when we speak of it because it  brings us closer to God.
9. Repentance is the condition, and the mercy of Christ is the Power.
10. Be bold in your declaration of Jesus Christ.
11. Satan is determined to take down as many souls as he possible can, EVEN THOUGH he knows he will be defeated.  This is because he wants all men to be miserable like himself.
12. Be not afraid of the testimony of our Lord.
13. We need to take care of the poor and needy.
14. When you think you are exhasted in serving the Lord--do more.
15. Be willing to stand alone when needed.
16. God's morals are unchanging
17. Special gifts bring solemn responsibilities.

A Season of Blessings, Even Miracles (Part 1)

As I have reflected on the last couple of months, I can't help but feel that a number of blessings, even miracles have occured in our lives, and I wanted to jot them down.  It all began when we recieved the news about our birth mother's pending new delivery.  We were ready emotionally to add another to our family, but being without a job, we simply were not in the financial position we needed to be in to pay for the adoption expenses.  We pondered and prayed about our delima and felt that we still needed to go through with the adoption and leave everything in the hands of God. 

We announced our decision, and predicament, to friends and family and we immediately began to see the hand of God at work. We recieved financial donations in person and in the mail.  We then began preparations for a garage sale to raise money.  Local church members, friends, and family (even strangers) donated numerous items to our cause.  We were picking up trailor loads of clothes, toys, furniture, bikes, books, and more for almost the entire week leading up to the garage sale. 

As we gathered all the stuff together we wondered how we were ever going to get rid of everthing.  We started setting up on Thursday afternoon for the following morning, and people began stopping in.  Friday morning at 7:00 am, we were still trying to set things up and we were busy selling stuff.  We were busy all day until 7:00 pm that night with hardly a bread at all.  The same story was true Saturday morning.  We hoped to make $500 the entire weekend.  We had far surpassed that amount by Saturday at 2:00 pm, so we put a "free" sign up by 3:00 and almost all of the remaining items were gone by 5:00.  We had one trailer full of stuff left over, which we took to DI the next morning.

Our church friends in Iowa also decided to hold a garage sale the weekend after we did.  They also recieved a large amount of stuff and recieved almost an identical amount of money.  I have never heard of such huge success at gargage sales--neither had anyone else I talked to.  It was like the miracle of the few loaves and fishes that produced much more than what was provided.

I was touched, not only by the huge success the garage sales were, but also by the blessing that we were able to be to those who were also less fortunate.  When we put the "free" sign up, there were two groups of people in particular that I feel we were a great blessing to.  One lady was obviously glad of the news, and judging by her dress, was in need of additional items.  The other group was a couple of Polyesian ladies that came back 3 times gathing stuff.  They made the comment that their kids were going to be so glad to have new clothes, and that it would be like Christmas to them.  I really don't know how desperately they needed those items, but to me, it seemed that by offering some of the remaining items for free we were had the chance to be a blessing to those who were also struggling at that time.

The left-overs that we donated to DI would also be a way to bless others.  We learned shorlty after that the excess materials in Iowa were also donated to Goodwill and other charitable donations.

This particular season of our journey to adopt made me full of gratitude for all our loving church friends and family for their generosity.  I was also reminded that the Lord knew of our circumstances and was willing to take care of us.  As my mom has stated several times, "It is a miracle".  The financial donations that came our way was beyond what we would have imagined.

Just a few days after completing our garage sale, we were on our way to Kansas (part 2).

Impressions of General Conference (Part 1)

I just had the opportunity to listen to the words of the modern-day prophets and apostles today and yesterday (over a 10-hour period).  This happens twice a year and I love it.  I am so grateful that the God is an 1) unchangeable being 2) that He is no respector of persons and 3) that He love this generation just as much as He did to the Israelites in ancient times, and as a result he had called prophets and apostles to teach us of Christ and how to return to live with him in heaven.

The following thoughts are personal impressions that I jotted down while listening to their words.

1. The holy scriptures, the Bible and the Book of Mormon together, establish the Word of God and bring power into the lives of those people who study from their pages.  I need to re(memorize) selected verse of scripture so that they will be a source of strength to me in times of affliction/trouble.  Pondering upon the scriptures is KEY to obtaining personal revelation.
2. Recieving personal revelation is a privelege and a blessing the Lord expects of us.  Because he loves us all, he wants us to have that personal witness of the truths contained in the scriptures.  In addition to searching the scriptures, we need to "inquire of the Lord".
3. Because the Lord loves us, he has provided a way for families to be together forever, and the Temple is where this happens.  I am grateful for this knowledge especially in light of our family makeup.
4. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints IS the stone that was cut out of the mountain without hands in King Nebekenezar's Dream which Daniel interpreted.  It is filling the entire earth now with members, congregations, and temples world-wide and it will continue to fill the world.  Nothing can stop that from happening--persecutions, mobs, wars--nothing.
5. Satan is real.  He has a very real destructive power. But with the scriptures, and by striving to keep God's commandments, and by entering into covenants with Him (i.e. baptism) Satan's power over us is greatly diminished. 
6. Striving to live so that we are worthy of the constant companionship of the Holy Spirit is fundamental to recieving personal revelation and spiritual strength. This means that I need to do those things that invite the spirit on a daily basis, and reject those things that detract from it.  This includes listening to only good, wholesome music and watching TV shows/movies that are uplifting and invite those feelings.  This also means talking with respect and with reverence about spiritual things.

Testimony of the Book of Mormon

This is one of my favorite testimonies of the Book of Mormon that I have ever heard or read.  I love Elder Holland.  President Ezra Taft Benson started my journey towards my love towards this book.  I want to add my testimony that I know it is true.  I have read and studied from its pages ever since I was in Junior High and I am happy to say that relatively few days have gone by since 9th grade that I have not read or pondered from its pages.  I regret those days that I fail.  There is a power found in the Word of God that cannot be found anywhere else. 

Just the other day I was singing with my boys before they were put to bed and we sang the primary song "Scripture Power".  Derek and Nathan love singing that song.  I only remember the chorus, but that is good enough.

"Scripture Power, keeps me safe from sin.
Scripture Power, gives me the power to win
Scripture Power, every day I need
the power that I get each time I read."

I have found those words to this simple primary song to be true time and time again in my life.

I then told them the story of David and Goliath.  They loved the story.  I hope that they will continue to love the scripture stories and draw strength from them as I have.

S.M.I.L.E.

To be:

S: Spiritually
M: Minded
I: Is
L: Life
E: Eternal

Words of wisdom from the Book of Mormon.  I believe it with all my heart.  To be carnally minded is spiritual death.  As I read these words during my scripture study I discovered the acronym SMILE that they spelled out.  Being translated from a different language the author had no intention to do this, but I love the "hidden" message. At least to me it tells me that as long as I put God first (be spiritually minded), I will always have reason to smile--come what may.  God's grace, love, and plan of salvation is open to even the poorest, most lowly of people.  As he said, ALL are invited.

Mosiah Chapter 3--Testimony of Christ

Mosiah Chapter 3 is one of my favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon, and it contains key elements of my testimony.  There is great reason to rejoice in Christ, for I do know that he is full of grace, truth, mercy, and love.  He has demonstrated this to me time and time again.  I know that is in only in and through Christ that we can be saved.

 1And again my brethren, I would call your attention, for I have somewhat more to speak unto you; for behold, I have things to tell you concerning that which is to come.

 2And the things which I shall tell you are made known unto me by an ^aangel from God. And he said unto me: ^bAwake; and I awoke, and behold he stood before me.

 3And he said unto me: Awake, and hear the words which I shall tell thee; for behold, I am come to declare unto you the ^aglad tidings of great ^bjoy.

 4For the Lord hath heard thy prayers, and hath judged of thy ^arighteousness, and hath sent me to declare unto thee that thou mayest rejoice; and that thou mayest declare unto thy people, that they may also be filled with joy.

 5For behold, the time cometh, and is not far distant, that with power, the ^aLord ^bOmnipotent who ^creigneth, who was, and is from all ^deternity to all eternity, shall come down from heaven among the children of men, and shall dwell in a ^etabernacle of clay, and shall go forth amongst men, working mighty ^fmiracles, such as healing the sick, raising the dead, causing the lame to walk, the ^gblind to receive their sight, and the deaf to hear, and curing all manner of diseases.

 6And he shall cast out ^adevils, or the ^bevil spirits which dwell in the hearts of the children of men.

 7And lo, he shall ^asuffer ^btemptations, and pain of body, ^chunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can ^dsuffer, except it be unto death; for behold, ^eblood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his ^fanguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.

 8And he shall be called ^aJesus ^bChrist, the ^cSon of God, the ^dFather of heaven and earth, the ^eCreator of all things from the beginning; and his ^fmother shall be called Mary.

 9And lo, he cometh unto his own, that ^asalvation might come unto the children of men even through ^bfaith on his name; and even after all this they shall consider him a man, and say that he hath a ^cdevil, and shall ^dscourge him, and shall ^ecrucify him.

 10And he shall ^arise the ^bthird day from the dead; and behold, he standeth to ^cjudge the world; and behold, all these things are done that a righteous judgment might come upon the children of men.

 11For behold, and also his ^ablood ^batoneth for the sins of those who have ^cfallen by the transgression of Adam, who have died not knowing the ^dwill of God concerning them, or who have ^eignorantly sinned.

 12But wo, wo unto him who knoweth that he ^arebelleth against God! For salvation cometh to none such except it be through repentance and faith on the ^bLord Jesus Christ.

 13And the Lord God hath sent his holy ^aprophets among all the children of men, to declare these things to every kindred, nation, and tongue, that thereby whosoever should believe that Christ should come, the same might receive ^bremission of their sins, and rejoice with exceedingly great joy, even ^cas though he had already come among them.

 14Yet the Lord God saw that his people were a ^astiffnecked people, and he appointed unto them a ^blaw, even the ^claw of Moses.

 15And many signs, and wonders, and ^atypes, and shadows showed he unto them, concerning his coming; and also holy prophets spake unto them concerning his coming; and yet they ^bhardened their hearts, and understood not that the ^claw of Moses availeth nothing ^dexcept it were through the ^eatonement of his blood.

 16And even if it were possible that little ^achildren could sin they could not be saved; but I say unto you they are ^bblessed; for behold, as in Adam, or by nature, they fall, even so the blood of Christ ^catoneth for their sins.

 17And moreover, I say unto you, that there shall be ^ano other name given nor any other way nor means whereby ^bsalvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ, the ^cLord Omnipotent.

 18For behold he judgeth, and his judgment is just; and the infant perisheth not that dieth in his infancy; but men drink ^adamnation to their own souls except they humble themselves and ^bbecome as little children, and believe that ^csalvation was, and is, and is to come, in and through the ^datoning blood of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent.

 19For the ^anatural ^bman is an ^cenemy to God, and has been from the ^dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he ^eyields to the enticings of the Holy ^fSpirit, and ^gputteth off the ^hnatural man and becometh a ⁱsaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a ^jchild, ^ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

 20And moreover, I say unto you, that the time shall come when the ^aknowledge of a ^bSavior shall spread throughout ^cevery nation, kindred, tongue, and people.

 21And behold, when that time cometh, none shall be found ^ablameless before God, except it be little children, only through repentance and faith on the name of the Lord God Omnipotent.

 22And even at this time, when thou shalt have taught thy people the things which the Lord thy God hath commanded thee, even then are they found no more blameless in the sight of God, only according to the words which I have spoken unto thee.

 23And now I have spoken the words which the Lord God hath commanded me.

 24And thus saith the Lord: They shall stand as a bright testimony against this people, at the judgment day; whereof they shall be judged, every man according to his ^aworks, whether they be good, or whether they be evil.

 25And if they be evil they are consigned to an awful ^aview of their own guilt and abominations, which doth cause them to shrink from the presence of the Lord into a state of ^bmisery and ^cendless torment, from whence they can no more return; therefore they have drunk damnation to their own souls.

 26Therefore, they have drunk out of the ^acup of the wrath of God, which justice could no more deny unto them than it could deny that ^bAdam should fall because of his partaking of the forbidden ^cfruit; therefore, ^dmercy could have claim on them no more forever.

 27And their ^atorment is as a ^blake of fire and brimstone, whose flames are unquenchable, and whose smoke ascendeth up ^cforever and ever. Thus hath the Lord commanded me. Amen.

Very Blessed

It has been a while since I've posted any thoughts.  Part of that has been the stress looking for work; part of it has been laziness; and still another part of it has been the family reunion we just had.  My sister and brother and their families were able to come (from very long distances) to celebrate the 4th of July with us.  We had one or both of their families with us over the course of weeks.  It was a lot of fun to have them with us, even though we didn't DO much of anything--except hang out with each other.  It was enough for me.  I am glad they came.  I am truly blessed with a wonderful family.

Another reason why I have not posted is because of a new development in our lives.  We were contacted by the adoption agency again.  The boys' birth mother is expecting again and wants us to take the baby--another boy.  We were excited, but being out of work, the thought of paying for another adoption was daunting, let alone the new health status of the birth mother.  This time, she tested HIV positive.  This came as quite a blow to me, but as I studied it (chances of HIV positive baby, living with HIV, etc.), and as I prayed about the decision, we felt that we needed to adopt the child anyway.  Somehow the Lord would provide for us to adopt the baby, and IF the child was HIV positive, he would need a loving and secure home.  I sometimes doubted how well we could provide for him being out of work right now, but I felt that God would provide a way for that as well.  Part of the security that the baby would have being in our home is that of his older brothers.  They are already very protective of each other and I am sure they will be a source of strenght to him as well.

In the end, after taking our decision to the Lord, we decided to move forward with the adoption.  The agency has been very helpful and we have been able to move forward with the paperwork realtively quickly.   As we discussed how we could raise money, we announced our decision to friends and family and they have all been very supportive.  In fact, friends in Iowa are doing wonders putting together a garage sale fundraiser for us.  Family and friends in Utah have donated items for a garage sale we are planning here.  Other freinds and family have already donated money, some at a great sacrifice of their own--to which we can't thank them enough.  All in all, I am feeling very blessed right now.  At times I am overwhelmed with the generosity coming to us.

God is good.  He loves us.  I have no doubt that he lives and answers our prayers.  I trust that he will continue to bless me and my family with this new addition as he already has (through those of his children that have reached their arms out to us). 

Thank you all.

New Tab Added--Being of Service & Memorial Day

I've added a new page about service.  Hopefully I will be able to get some of my mission pictures digitized so I can download those.  I also updated some photos on the adoption page and added a few things to other various tabs.  I had a few extra minutes this long weekend so that I could do a few of these needed updates.

Being Memorial Day, I'll say a quick something about that.  We took our kids to visit the cemetery today and visited some relatives graves.  It was a nice day, though a biit cloudy and cold.  A bagpipper was there playing music to all the vetern graves, which was nice.  I am so grateful for my heritage (direct ancestors) as well as my American heritage.  I am humbled when I think of the sacrifices that so many men and women have made for me so that I can live in a country of liberty.

The Currant Bush

I was reminded of this story just recently and thought I would post it.  I love it and think it illustrates why certain things happen that me may not explain, but nonetheless are for our own growth and betterment. I hope that I can be as humble and teachable as he was.

It is by Elder Hugh B. Brown of the Council of the Twelve Apostels

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You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what he ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than he does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story that I have told quite often in the Church. It is a story that is older than you are. It’s a piece out of my own life, and I’ve told it in many stakes and missions. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that he knew best.

I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’”

Time passed. Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I had made rather rapid progress as far as promotions are concerned, and I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. And I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. There was just one man between me and that which for ten years I had hoped to get, the office of general in the British Army. I swelled up with pride. And this one man became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner in charge of all Canadian forces. I called in my valet, my personal servant. I told him to polish my buttons, to brush my hat and my boots, and to make me look like a general because that is what I was going to be. He did the best he could with what he had to work on, and I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the General, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer. Someone else will be made a general.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for ten years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.

Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and I took a soldier’s privilege of looking on his desk. I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it in bold, block-type letters was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. I already held the highest rank of any Mormon in the British Army. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly. I saluted out of duty and went out.

I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure. You will be called a coward when you get home. You raised all those Mormon boys to join the army, then you sneak off home.” I knew what I was going to get, and when I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap and my saddle brown belt on the cot. I clinched my fists and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.

And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have a Mutual Improvement Association. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their voices singing:

“It may not be on the mountain height

Or over the stormy sea;

It may not be at the battle’s front

My Lord will have need of me;

But if, by a still, small voice he calls

To paths that I do not know,

I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:

I’ll go where you want me to go.”

(Hymns, no. 75.)

I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost fifty years later, I look up to him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension when I’m no good any longer, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.

I wanted to tell you that oft-repeated story because there are many of you who are going to have some very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried to prove what you are made of. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, “God is the gardener here. He knows what he wants you to be.” Submit yourselves to his will. Be worthy of his blessings, and you will get his blessings.