Family

When I was a boy my family was among the most important things to me.  I grew up surrounded by my cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents.  My best friends were my family and we did everything together.  My brother and I had our quarrels as all kids do, but we are only 13 months apart in age, so we had the same interests, friends, and experiences in commons so we were close friends.  In fact, all five of us children were within five years of each other, so we were all close.  I am sure that added to some frustration on my parents' part, but we loved it.  We still have a close relationship. 

Now that I have kids of my own, all close in age, I am grateful that my boys have each other to play with, grow with, and experience life together with.  They are already great friends.  I look forward to the chance to add additional children to our family.   We hope and pray for that day to come soon.

Christmas 2010

The following is a newspaper story about our family. 

Raising a family…it isn’t all black and white
Published in the Eagle Grove Eagle Newspaper

On Southwest First Street in Eagle Grove, there sits a two-story house, that for three little boys from Michigan, has become a home. Instead of living a life of uncertainty, these brothers have been brought into a home of stability, filled with love…all because two people opened their minds, their home, and their hearts to adoption. Lisa Yeager and Jordan Fuller met in January of 2002 at a singles’ gathering at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon) in Utah. They quickly discovered they had many things in common, including being college students. The attraction was almost instant, and only two months later they were engaged, and Jordan made sure to make it memorable for his soon bride-to-be. Jordan sent Lisa on a scavenger hunt for roses around town. Attached to each rose was a note with instructions…like riding a wheelchair down the hall of a hospital, were upon completion, she received her next clue. The final rose led her back to Jordan, waiting for her at his mom’s house. Lisa had shared with him in their short courtship that she had always dreamed of being proposed to on horseback at sunset. Although it perhaps wasn’t exactly what she meant, Jordan proposed to Lisa and had two stick horses near-by. “I wanted to make it memorable…so we could look back on it with fond memories,” Jordan said with a sheepish smile, his wife sitting next to him proud as could be.

The couple was married in June of 2002 with a simple ceremony at the Bountiful Temple. Jordan and Lisa were both from rather large familes…Jordan with three older sisters and one younger brother; and Lisa being the eldest of eight. Lisa was adopted as her parents thought they were not able to have children. After they brought Lisa home, they added seven more biological children to the family. Being the only adopted child never really made a difference to Lisa. What did matter was that she had a family who loved her, and she had hoped to one day give that same incredible gift back to another child who needed a home. After Jordan and Lisa said “I do,” they began working on starting a family. Lisa admitted that her original plan was to have a few kids, then adopt through foster care to help kids who might not have other family opportunities. Jordan agreed. That was their plan…God had a different one for them. “Adoption has blessed my life,” said Lisa. “At some point I wanted to adopt, but I never thought it would be my first child.” After two years and a couple miscarriages, Jordan and Lisa were faced with a decision; in vitro or adoption? Although both can be an expensive process, they decided adoption would at least place a child in their arms, guaranteed, to love and raise.

After checking out their options on-line, Jordan and Lisa decided to proceed through their church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The couple met the church’s requirements of being married two years, being physically and financially stable, and were good standing members of the church. So, the next step was to begin round one of paperwork. Jordan and Lisa had to fill out a profile of the life they shared, and what they would be bringing a baby home to. This would be what was presented to expecting mothers who would be placing their babies up for adoption, but choosing who their new mom and dad would be. Two years went by before Jordan and Lisa got the phone call they had been waiting and praying for. There was a mother in Detroit who had just given birth to a baby boy. She had told the agency to pick the new parents, and they picked the Fullers.

One of the reasons they were picked, Jordan and Lisa believe, is because of the original paperwork. It asked race, gender, age, premature, drug babies…what you will accept for an adopted baby.“They try to keep birth and adoptive parents matched up as best as possible, so the birth mother is not told “no” by a prospective couple,” said Lisa. Jordan and Lisa’s paperwork showed that they were okay with premature babies as well as mothers who used drugs during the pregnancy. This baby was early, and his mother had used cocaine while pregnant. Did they want him? They had three hours to decide! Jordan admitted that initially, when they were told drugs were used during pregnancy, he really had to think about it before saying yes. Together, Jordan and Lisa researched the side effects. They found that a baby born to a cocaine-using mother was one of the “better” drugs to be on, IF you had to choose, and that many times the side effects dissipate within a few years. Ultimately, they knew there could be some bumps along the way, but together, they made the decision to provide a home and hearts full of love for their new son. That meant they had four days to get their house ready, get to Detroit, meet the birth mother, and prepare to be a mother and father themselves.Baby Derek spent one month in the hospital. Jordan was there initially and Lisa made two separate trips to be with their new son, and to deal with “interstate clearing” which makes sure that Michigan allows the child to cross state lines, and Iowa accepts the adopted child to cross state lines. The procedure is done to avoid any amber alerts of missing children claims.

It had been a long wait from making the decision to adopt until now, but the Fullers were finally able to make the final trip to pick Derek up and were able to begin settling into their new family life in Manning. It made no difference to them that the color of their son’s skin was black and they were white. It also made no difference to them that there would most likely be cocaine side effects to deal with. They were ready for whatever the future would hold. They felt blessed to finally be parents, and that was enough. “We weren’t concerned about the public judging Derek,” said his proud mother. Lisa said there were people, however, who were also having troubles getting pregnant, who questioned how they were able to love an adopted child as if it were their own. Lisa’s answer? Derek is their own! He may not have grown in her stomach, but he grew in her heart. The Fullers were a family of three…but not for long!

Eleven short months after bringing Derek into their family, Jordan and Lisa received another unexpected phone call. Derek’s birth mother was pregnant again. Would they take the child? Yes, cocaine was a factor again, but she was homeless and needed a place for her new son. The couple admits they weren’t expecting a second child so soon, but how could they say no to keeping brothers together?! They accepted, thrilled to have two blessings to call their own. Again, the Fullers had to travel to Michigan to complete all the proper steps. This time, however, it was a little more complicated, if you can believe that. Although this new baby was born to the same mother and father as Derek, this time, the father was contesting the adoption. He had freely signed his rights away the first time with Derek, but with this one, it seems he had a change of heat. Jordan had to return home to his job as Manning’s City Administrator, so that left Lisa to stay in Michigan. It took five weeks before everything was settled and the Fullers’ were allowed to bring baby Nathan back to Manning to join their newly expanded family.

Jordan and Lisa loved being a family of four, but in early spring of 2009, they were ready for their family to grow by two more feet. Since they had been told the birth mother of Derek and Nathan had had her tubes tied after Nathan was born (he was her sixth child), they began looking at other options and other agencies. Then, as if it was meant to be, the phone rang again. The birth mother was pregnant with baby number seven. Did they have any interest at all in keeping Derek, Nathan, and their new sibling together? Although Lisa and Jordan weren’t expecting another addition quite so quickly, there was no way they could say “no.” Baby Daniel came to live with his new family in Eagle Grove two months ago.

Three children ages three, two, and two months might seem undoable to some, but not to the Fullers.“There’s a purpose why things happen,” said Jordan, whose own parents had five kids within five years.“It was a challenge for our parents, but it was great for us kids,” Jordan laughed.The thing that Jordan and Lisa have on their side is the support of one another, and knowing that being a parent, whether to biological or adoptive children, takes love and patience.To those couples out there who are contemplating the idea of adoption, Jordan and Lisa have these words of advice for you. Being an adoptive parent is no different than being a parent to biological children, it still requires love and patience. “I don’t look at our kids and think, they are adopted. I think they are my kids,” said Jordan.“The road of infertility was difficult,” added Lisa, “but I wouldn’t trade any of it for my three little boys.” Does this family look any different than any other family living in Eagle Grove? Maybe to some. Maybe not. Either way, it doesn’t matter to Jordan and Lisa because they know they are no different. They have three beautiful children who they love and adore…and they want two or three more.“Adoption is a wild roller coaster,” laughed Lisa. But, it’s a ride she and her husband are glad to be on…and enjoying every minute of it.

By Kim Demory of the Eagle Grove Eagle